Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Five things I wish didn't exist

Number one:
 Sweat pants, now I know they are comfy for lazing about the house and they are suitable for the gym but that does not change the fact that people seem to think that they are an item of normal clothing. Sweatpants are a affront to taste, they have elasticated waists and make people think  you're sweaty. In all honesty sweat pants are closer to pajamas than too clothing. As Dita Von Teese Said on the subject of sweatpants. When asked if she'd ever wear a pair, "Why would I do that? Who wants to purposefully feel crappy?" Boys in sweat pants is one of my greatest pet hates, they look like tools.

Number Two:
Fake tan. The smell, the streaks, the orange; There are no redeeming features to the slop. Pale is beautiful and so is natural tan but faking your skin shows your just not comfortable in it. Some boys wear it now too... how masculine. Make up, plucking and primping is just making a person the best that they can be but tan tie dye is a step to far.

Number Three: 
Fast Food chains. Fast food is bad enough as it is, being high is salt and fat and nasties. My objection to chains is they are so far detached from the person in charge that the standards slip. A family who own a pizzaria are going to put love and care into their food as good sales are there livelihood but a global chain where the staff are on a minimum wage stop gap aren't going to care if there products aren't that good. Cheap food is not the answer, Good food is.

Number Four:
Glass Tables. I've yet to see one that isn't an abomination to taste, they are a health risk and they are impractical. A beautiful wooden table is indefinitely more practical and more aesthetically pleasing in all cases.  They serve no purpose but the signal you out as tasteless. 

Number Five:
Jeans. No one looks as good in jeans as they think they do. They make skinny girls look fatter and curvy girls look like sausages. They ride down or up showing kidney or weird bit of ankle. They are unflattering and dull. They are lazy fashion for people who don't care enough about what they look like to put consideration into their outfits. Then forty something old men wear them and attempt to look hip and young. Just no. 

Belinda Stepford

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Blossom Drama

One of the many dramatic goings on since I last posted was somebody attempted to steal Blossom. Which would have possibly been the worst thing in the world if we hadn't got her back. Don't worry she is home safe and sound now though... Here's what happened.

My Dad was in the house and heard a crashing sound from downstairs and all the dogs where going mental barking, so he ran down to check what had happened and the back garden gate was open and Blossom was missing. So he ran out and began frantically searching to see if he could see anyone or her. The garden gate lock was totally broken so someone had broken in and grabbed her and ran off. So he then called the police and then had to call my Mim which was obviously a incredible hard phone call to make. The likelihood is a pedigree like Blossom would have been sold into the Puppy Mill trade was a very real and terrifying possibility. 

The Police where absolutely useless, they didn't even really want to report it because it is such a common crime. My parents where beside themselves and went out searching for her. They though they could hear her in a house that was a few doors down on the opposite side of the alleyway that our houses back onto so knocked on their door and asked. Apparently they found her in the street and had kept her incase she was missing. Which we thinks unlikely because their house overlooked ours and they hadn't reported her found to anyone. There was no evidence they had actually stolen her though so there was nothing we could do. It did cement to us though that we are absolutely making the right decision in moving. The though we could be living near people who think that its okay to steal a dog is horrific. Taking a dog is like taking someone's child, the rest of the dogs where totally freaking out that Blossom was missing and they could probably hear her seeing as she was so close. 

Once she was back she needed a bath because she was filthy and was given lots of fuss and hugs from my parents. Then they called me to tell me what had happened. That was not a nice conversation to have, Blossom is most definitely my dog and the prospect that someone would just take her was so frightening.  They then called my sister and told her, who then went to one of her first meet and greets of the new term and cried. The dogs are no longer allowed in the back garden unsupervised and the all the locks have been replaced, when we move they'll be in a very secure garden with a dog run so they will have even more protection. Its a sad reality that people willing to steal pets for money exist. I'm just glad we've got her back and if I ever find out who took her I'll have their head on a pike. 

Belinda Stepford